Fake News Articles
Studies Show Prehistoric Chickens Tasted Like Fish
Man Loses Head; Evil Mad Scientist Suspected
Police Squeeze Illegal Lemonade Ring
Essays
Brain Cells
Scissor Wizards
I'm Going to Administrate the Bejesus Out of Some Shit Today
Where I Would Be if I Were Your Three-Pronged Plug Adapter Thingy
What Are My Arms Supposed to Do While I Descend the Stairs?
Rants
Letters
Grab Bag
Conversation Between a Mobster and the Podunk Sheriff He's Just Bribed
Documented Proof of What It Would Take To Get Me Into a New Car Today
Therein Lies the Problem long-since deleted chapter: The Hatchetts