The Obtuse Angle Corporation strives to offer a top-quality media product to our customers, to retain the best people as employees and to produce healthy, sustainable dividends for our investors.

So that’s the official mission. YAWN-O-RAMA!

Now here’s my own personal take:

The mission of the Obtuse Angle Corporation can be summed up in one word: RELEVANCE. But since we have a plethora of words at our disposal, let’s expound a little more on that ...

Mere relevance isn’t the loftiest of goals, but TOA Corp wishes to be relevant in as many ways as humanly possible. This may explain why so many topics, stories and ideas are so lightly brushed upon. Conventional wisdom says to pick one thing and do it well, but TOA Corp has never been enamored with either convention or wisdom. We pick oodles and scads of things and do them in a half-assed fashion.

That’s not to say we don’t believe in giving the so-called “customer” what he or she wants. We do, assuming it doesn’t compromise our principles and isn’t too much trouble.

Back to the concept of relevance, though. What does that mean, exactly?

Well, again, exactitude isn’t one of our driving principles, but let me attempt to sharpen the focus just a tiny bit. Relevance is a two-party sort of arrangement, in this case between TOA Corp and the consumer, or listener. But each individual listener will have different criteria for relevance of a given topic, story or idea based on their own views, experiences and modes of creativity. So this is another reason why clarity and completeness must be sacrificed for the sake of volume.

Let’s take an example: Polynesian Jive

We raise the question of whether there might be a Polynesian form of jive, or at the very least, if we could convince anyone that this was true. Now, we could go on and on about how we might do this, vis a vis direct mail advertising, etcetera, but is that really necessary? Does that make the concept any more relevant? No. That’s my contention – no, it doesn’t. So instead of wasting more time discussing it we’ll just say, “Jive talkin’ turkeys!” and move on.

Remember the needles they used to have on radio tuners, that would bounce to life whenever the slightest sound came through? Okay, then imagine you have one of these gauges for relevance. We just want to move the needle as many times as possible during each episode of TOA.

The next step beyond relevance is utilization. What do you, the listener, do with these parcels of information that you register as relevant? Needless to say, the possibilities are endless, but we at TOA Corp have a few preconceived notions of what we’d like to see happen.

At the basest level you have entertainment.

Another famous example is the phrase, “It takes two to mu.” This refers to the coefficient of friction assigned to any given surface (mu) and the fact that, in actual practice, friction is something that exists between two objects.

So, let’s say you’ve never taken a physics course in your life and you’ve never heard the term “mu” before. But, nevertheless, you think “it takes two to mu” sounds funny. You laugh. Perhaps a chuckle, maybe even a guffaw. Either way this is good. You have utilized this information to experience amusement.

Skipping a little further along the continuum (there are an infinite number of points, mind you), we have curiosity. This one is simple. You hear me talk about something, let’s say the fruity goodness of Jumex. You ask yourself, what is this Jumex he speaks of? Could such an embodiment of “Worldwide Excellence in Quality” really exist? Then you search the internet or, better yet, the juice aisle of your local grocery store. You discover the many wholesome varieties of Jumex juices and nectars for yourself. This is awesome.

Skipping, skipping, skipping ... there are so many, but let’s touch on just a few more important ones:

Validation – I confess that I’m unfit to be the White House press secretary (due to my diarrhea of the mouth). It just so happens that you, too, feel unable to perform this job, a fact that has haunted you for decades. Suddenly you feel it’s okay never to be the White House press secretary. Hooray for you.

Introspection – You listen to a story about Mexican bandits executing a dog in front of its owner. This makes you contemplate not only the dangers of modern banditry, but the ephemeral nature of life itself. You probe the remotest depths of your fear, your soul and your religious belief. Assuming you don’t kill yourself, this is good.

Inspiration – After sitting through a brief tutorial on the “Frogger Mentality” you realize that personal and professional achievement is just a matter of identifying the “hopping stones” and hopping over them. You put this into practice immediately, and all your wildest dreams come true.

Granted, these are hyperbolic examples. The point is, our mission at TOA Corp is inextricably tied to you, the listener. Albeit corporatese bullshit, we really do “strive to offer [you] a top-notch media product.” But more important than that is how you utilize that product.

Please feel free to utilize the ever-living crap out of it.

This will help us fulfill our mission and produce healthy, sustainable dividends for our investors.

So it’s a win-win-win situation. Everybody wins.

Which is awesome.