Hung

If you don't recognize the name William Hung, please, for the love of god, STOP READING NOW. The last thing I want to do is perpetuate the absurd social consciousness of this most absurd individual. I said stop fucking reading worm-brain! Okay, as for the rest of you, can someone please explain what the hell is going on in this country? Has the media completely snuffed out all semblance of rational thought? Sure, I know, America is all about the underdog, the little guy, yada yada, and I'm on board with that when it comes to most things - sports, politics, third-world coup d'états of communist dictators - but I'll confess, this William Hung media explosion has me totally stumped. Befuddled. Flummoxed even. Because the guy has no talent for anything but looking like a total jackass!

Is that the key these days? Have we all adopted that sophomoric mentally that it's cool to suck at things? Because I really suck at a lot of things. Poker, break dancing, clarinet … although, I'd argue that utter talent bankruptcy is only part of the equation for Mr. Hung - anti-talent you might say. The other big line item in his credit column is - prepare to be shocked and appalled now - is that he's so fucking ugly and stupid looking! I mean, with that Simpsons-esque overbite and the googly puppet eyes, the Creator was not kind to Mr. Hung (unless of course he's REALLY hung).

Maybe he is a puppet. No, I doubt even the most seasoned puppeteer could generate such awkward dance steps. Plus, I think I saw him stick out his tongue once, and as we all know puppets are incapable of sticking out their tongues (it's how the government checks for puppets amongst its national security staff, etc. - "Stick out your tongue … you can't? Puppet! Code red! We have a puppet in here!).

Anyhoo, the crux of the matter here is why people like this moron, and why they would actually spend their own money on his "album." Because when you think about this, it's really quite disturbing, isn't it? I mean, it's awfully insulting to the thousands of people out there who actually have talent and yet can't get a record contract. I would be pissed if I were them. Of course, I'm pissed anyway so go figure. But the thing is, I'm not pissed at William Hung - in fact, I think the guy is a fucking genius.

I suppose I'm most pissed at the media for giving the guy like 15 hours of fame as opposed to his culturally allotted 15 minutes. And I'm pissed at America too, for gobbling it up with such voracity, setting up fan websites and printing t-shirts and whatnot, because to me it all seems very phony and even mean-spirited, like in high school when you would hang out with some loser just to make a fool of him later. Well, if there's one thing Willie Hung is doing a smash-up job of, it's making a fool of himself. But somehow I think he's going to have the last laugh.