I've decided the reason leaf blowers piss me off so much is because they're a perfect case study not only for how lazy humans have become, but also for how insensitive we've become. But, before I fully open the veritable bomb-bay doors, I must issue a few qualifying statements. First of all, yes, I do own a leaf blower of my own. Gasoline powered, no less. And, yes, I use it on occasion. In other words, I'm not railing against the use of these machines absolutely. I'll admit, they have their appropriate uses. However, one of these uses is not clearing one's entire yard of leaves! You know the people to whom I'm referring. The ones who stand there for hours and hours on end with their stupid blowers. VRRRRRR! VRR! VRR! VRRRRRR! Hours and f---ing hours! It's loud, it's obnoxious, it's heavily polluting to the environment (much, much worse than a car, or even a gargantuan SUV) and it's totally absurd! The leaf rake truly is a wonderful invention, and while it takes a little more energy to operate, it is far more effective. Call me John F---ing Henry, but give me a rake I'll go head-to-head with a blower any day. In fact, I'm tempted to rake these people's yards for them, just to demonstrate my point. Now, with all that said, let me explain what the leaf blower is actually designed for. 1) Removing a sparse amount of leaves from the yard. As a finishing touch to raking or, if you're a real perfectionist, in between rakings. A good rule of thumb is this: If you can see less than half the grass on your lawn, it's a job for the rake, not the blower. 2) For patios and driveways. Concrete surfaces have a much lower coefficient of friction (or mu), therefore the leaves move more freely when propelled by forced air from a blower. 3) For dislodging leaves from underneath shrubberies and other areas difficult to reach with a rake. THAT'S IT. Besides, I'm pretty damned sure I could get four out of five doctors to recommend raking over blowing. So, please, don't be a jackass. Use your blower in moderation.

All Pages © Copyright 2006 by Steve Dupont